She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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