dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My balls are so social today.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
