Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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