We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
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Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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