I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
