Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
