it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
