My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
