We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
