You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
