some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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