Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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