i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
