You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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