Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
