I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
smell my finger.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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