guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
