come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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