Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
