why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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