yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize