No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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