Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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