like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
