Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
organizing the empties. That sober.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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