was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
