seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
