Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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