my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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