i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
