She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
