pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
