I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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