I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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