We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize