Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
