you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
