Well douche your snatch and let's go!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
