i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
