I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
