I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At least make sure they are 18
Why
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
