I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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