I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
