Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
