Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
