After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
