Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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