I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
