I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
