i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
