i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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