I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
