Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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