Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he puts the penis in happiness.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
