That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
