He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
