Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
