you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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