Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize